Happy 23th birthday

It' s already 11.12pm,

still left around 45 minutes,

then my birthday will end for this year.

Well, I'm officially 23 years old,

a lots of friends were send me a birthday wish,

feel thankful for them.

This is the first time I pass my birthday in campus,

last 2 years I was already at home when my birthday.

And this year,

nothings special, didn't celebrate,

because someone still having his final paper tomorrow.

Ok, I not want to blame what,

don't think too much!

Huh~

I still having my final exam,

still left one paper on 24th,

hope that day come faster,

I can't wait for graduate already.

All my friends were already finish their exam,

I'm so jealous them,

so hope to be one of them,

but I never have this luck,

since start from semester 1 until semester 6,

I always is the latest finish final.

Damn hate~

And, this is the last semester for me,

means that, I no need come back here for new semester open this September.

Yes, I am graduate!

My study life will ended up at here!

That day after the personal finance exam,

suddenly having some weird feeling,

It is the first time I feel that I really no need to study anymore,

and I still not yet decide where & how I have to go in the future.

I was spent for 3 years at here, UUM,

from the first day I feel alone, lost & scare,

until now i was already fit into the environment here,

no matter feel happy or sad,

no matter feel angry or stress,

I have built my memories at here for 3 years.

But, I never feel not willing to leave here,

just I will keep the memories at here forever,

because it is a part journey of my life.

I will start my new journey soon,

shift into working life,

on the mid of June, maybe.

Wishing myself all the best in my new journey,

and same to my friend too.

Now already 11.50pm,

another 10 minutes to go,

my birthday will going to end.

And someone is trying to know what I am writing about,

hahaXD~

Wishing myself once again,

Happy birthday to myself~~<3

by shin,

17/5/2011 11.52pm

something wrong with me

I am very boring now,

nothing can do,

or I can say,

I don't know what can I do now.

I don't want to watch movie,

since I was finish watched all the movie own by me.

I don't think to do my resume,

I am really lazy now.

But, I really feel bored.

Arghhhhhhh....

What should I do..?

Don't know what's going on me,

I really hope my dear can accompany by my side now.

I don't wish to be alone at room,

is that I feel lonely?

I don't know,

but I really don't think to stay myself alone,

I hope there are my family, my friends,

or even is my dear beside me now.

But, I not dare to tell anyone,

I don't want to  disturb anyone...

I feel so bad now,

but actually nothing happen on me.

I don't know how to make myself happy,

I can't find back the mood before,

I feel so stress?!

or sad?!

or even upset?!

I don't know what feeling at me now,

I don't know how to describe,

but conclusion is,

I really feel badly right now...

by shin,

23/4/2011 11.23pm

I'm not a super hero...I'm not perfect...

Life is getting more tough,

and I am getting more stress.

Many things happen on the same time,

many things I have to face and solve it,

I have no choice to escape from those stuff.

Another 3 weeks, I am officially 23 years old,

a lots of responsible I have to pick up,

I have to responsible on every action or decision I made.

Now only I realize, I not a kid anymore,

I have to face those problem myself,

I have to find a best solution to solve every problem,

I have no choice to escape,

because all these are my responsible...

Life is not easy...

I know every single problem have its solution,

I know I have to try my best,

I know I need think in 2 different side for each problem,

I know many many...

But who can do the best when facing those problem?

Who can come out & take the problem as his/her own responsible?

Who can using high EQ to solve family problem?

Now only I realize,

I not a super hero,

I can't do anything that I hope it to be,

I can't satisfy both side that I care,

I am not perfect...

by shin,

21/4/2011 10.56pm

I feel tired

Tears is out of my control this few day,

I don't know what happen on me,

feel stress and unhappy.

I keep told myself nothing is happen,

no need feeling sad,

but I still can't control myself.

What was happen on me?

I think to be a happy people,

just like before,

even sometimes feel angry or sad,

but the most time I am happy.

Why i can't find the feeling back this few days?

Yesterday get a call from my mommy,

a lots of things was happen on them.

My uncle and aunt want to separate from the company,

and that stupid Miss Too was resign yesterday too.

My parent hope i can work with them after I graduate,

I not really think to work with them,

but they are my parent,

What can I do?

I not dare to tell them I don't want,

I not allow myself not helping them,

I really don't know what should I do at this moment.

I had study so many years already,

the world outside I haven have a meet,

then now, they call me work with them,

I really tidak puas hati.

My heart really feel suffer,

the one side is my parent,

the another side is the world I desire to meet,

I now stand in the middle,

I don't know which side should I go,

I really feel suffer to face all of these.

Who can teach me how i need to do only satisfied both side?

Who can give me an idea?

I really feel stress on my life,

stress to face those assignment and presentation,

stress to face the world after I graduate on may,

stress to face my parent because they hope i can work with them.

I don't know what can or what should I do already..

I really feel very tired on all of these matters,

please don't come and force me again..

Please...

by shin,

12/4/2011 10.27am

emo attack me

I'm now waiting for my next class at 2pm,

feel very sleepy and tired,

but I not think to sleep a while...

This few day I so emotional,

I can't control my temper,

keep angry and think a lots of things,

so my head gonna be boom now...

arghhhhhhhh...

Nearly to the end of this semester,

it's also means I'm gonna end my university life soon,

but I was feel stress this few day...

A lots of work come together,

and its seen like won't stop.

I keep doing assignment, homework and presentation,

I really feel tired on these work,

when only can I end all of these??

This few day keep did not sleep well,

since the fire drill training that day.

Talk about the fire drill training,

I was so angry about it.

What a stupid university organized it on midnight,

is midnight 2am,ok!

I almost sleep that time,

but suddenly all the electric was cut off,

the the fire bell rang,

and I still heard some sound like "BOOM".

I really thought it was fire at my block,

get a big shock.

And this few day also keep think about the money problem..

Nearly the end of semester,

I am not brave to call back ask money from my parent.

Now,I only realize I waste too much money before,

but now, regret also no use.

I keep think how much I will spent before I go back,

really feel headache on this problem,

I do not know where can I get money.

I am not think to use my PTPTN,

since there only left a bit money,

I think to keep it for use on the time I start working.

Haih..

Many problem come together,

assignment + presentation + money,

my head really gonna boom,

who can lend me a hand?

by shin,

11/4/2011 12.54pm

大病一场

这几天大病了一场，

真的很久没有生这么久的病了。

一会儿发烧，一会儿退烧，

 多一会儿又发烧，

反反复复的，真的很辛苦。

最惨的是，

一个人在外面读书，

生病了，还要自己照顾自己，

这种感觉，真的很惨。

要自己找药吃，找东西吃，

要自己帮自己抹凉，

要自己给自己盖被。

我真的很想家，

想念爸爸妈妈，

也想念他。

幸好，昨天有他陪在我身边，

要不然我真的不懂要怎样才好。

有他在我身边照顾我，

拿水给我喝，

拿药给我吃，

帮我抹干身上的汗，

一直用手探探我的额头，

看看我退烧了没有。

生病的时候，有人在身边照顾，

真的是一件很幸福的事。

虽然他为了我，忙了整个晚上，

根本没办法好好睡觉，

可是当下的我真的觉得有你真好！

今天早上起来的时候，

我望着你的脸很久很久，

大大的鼻子，厚厚的嘴巴，

黑黑的皮肤，

一点也不迷人。

可是不懂为什么，

我却被你迷着了。

很想跟你说：

我希望，从今以后每当我睡醒时，

睁开眼看到的第一个人，

就是你。

by shin,

3/8/2011 9.34pm

其实我们很幸福

人生无常，

下一秒会发生什么事，

没有人知道，

也阻止不了。

有些人一直都在埋怨这样不够好，

那样不够好，

一直觉得其他人比自己幸运，

比自己幸福。

有些人却已经没有办法迎接明天，

没有办法在为自己的未来努力，

没有办法和深爱的人道别，

就这样离开这个人世。

当你还在抱怨的时候，

请停下脚步，

看看这些已经没有办法看到明天的他们，

他们已经没有机会再努力，

也没有机会成功。

而你，机会一直都在，

路还很长，

却一直在埋怨。

其实，我们已经很幸福。

我们还能呼吸，

我们还能感受这个世界，

我们还能努力打拼自己的未来，

比起他们，

我们真的很幸福。

不要再一直抱怨，

不要再觉得自己不必别人好，

你还能活着，

就已经很幸福了！

by shin,

2/3/2011 9.59am