Saturday, April 23, 2011

something wrong with me

I am very boring now,
nothing can do,
or I can say,
I don't know what can I do now.
I don't want to watch movie,
since I was finish watched all the movie own by me.
I don't think to do my resume,
I am really lazy now.
But, I really feel bored.
Arghhhhhhh....
What should I do..?

Don't know what's going on me,
I really hope my dear can accompany by my side now.
I don't wish to be alone at room,
is that I feel lonely?
I don't know,
but I really don't think to stay myself alone,
I hope there are my family, my friends,
or even is my dear beside me now.
But, I not dare to tell anyone,
I don't want to  disturb anyone...

I feel so bad now,
but actually nothing happen on me.
I don't know how to make myself happy,
I can't find back the mood before,
I feel so stress?!
or sad?!
or even upset?!
I don't know what feeling at me now,
I don't know how to describe,
but conclusion is,
I really feel badly right now...
by shin,
23/4/2011 11.23pm

Thursday, April 21, 2011

I'm not a super hero...I'm not perfect...

Life is getting more tough,
and I am getting more stress.
Many things happen on the same time,
many things I have to face and solve it,
I have no choice to escape from those stuff.

Another 3 weeks, I am officially 23 years old,
a lots of responsible I have to pick up,
I have to responsible on every action or decision I made.
Now only I realize, I not a kid anymore,
I have to face those problem myself,
I have to find a best solution to solve every problem,
I have no choice to escape,
because all these are my responsible...

Life is not easy...
I know every single problem have its solution,
I know I have to try my best,
I know I need think in 2 different side for each problem,
I know many many...
But who can do the best when facing those problem?
Who can come out & take the problem as his/her own responsible?
Who can using high EQ to solve family problem?

Now only I realize,
I not a super hero,
I can't do anything that I hope it to be,
I can't satisfy both side that I care,
I am not perfect...

by shin,
21/4/2011 10.56pm

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I feel tired

Tears is out of my control this few day,
I don't know what happen on me,
feel stress and unhappy.
I keep told myself nothing is happen,
no need feeling sad,
but I still can't control myself.
What was happen on me?
I think to be a happy people,
just like before,
even sometimes feel angry or sad,
but the most time I am happy.
Why i can't find the feeling back this few days?

Yesterday get a call from my mommy,
a lots of things was happen on them.
My uncle and aunt want to separate from the company,
and that stupid Miss Too was resign yesterday too.
My parent hope i can work with them after I graduate,
I not really think to work with them,
but they are my parent,
What can I do?
I not dare to tell them I don't want,
I not allow myself not helping them,
I really don't know what should I do at this moment.

I had study so many years already,
the world outside I haven have a meet,
then now, they call me work with them,
I really tidak puas hati.
My heart really feel suffer,
the one side is my parent,
the another side is the world I desire to meet,
I now stand in the middle,
I don't know which side should I go,
I really feel suffer to face all of these.
Who can teach me how i need to do only satisfied both side?
Who can give me an idea?

I really feel stress on my life,
stress to face those assignment and presentation,
stress to face the world after I graduate on may,
stress to face my parent because they hope i can work with them.
I don't know what can or what should I do already..
I really feel very tired on all of these matters,
please don't come and force me again..
Please...

by shin,
12/4/2011 10.27am

Monday, April 11, 2011

emo attack me

I'm now waiting for my next class at 2pm,
feel very sleepy and tired,
but I not think to sleep a while...
This few day I so emotional,
I can't control my temper,
keep angry and think a lots of things,
so my head gonna be boom now...
arghhhhhhhh...

Nearly to the end of this semester,
it's also means I'm gonna end my university life soon,
but I was feel stress this few day...
A lots of work come together,
and its seen like won't stop.
I keep doing assignment, homework and presentation,
I really feel tired on these work,
when only can I end all of these??

This few day keep did not sleep well,
since the fire drill training that day.
Talk about the fire drill training,
I was so angry about it.
What a stupid university organized it on midnight,
is midnight 2am,ok!
I almost sleep that time,
but suddenly all the electric was cut off,
the the fire bell rang,
and I still heard some sound like "BOOM".
I really thought it was fire at my block,
get a big shock.

And this few day also keep think about the money problem..
Nearly the end of semester,
I am not brave to call back ask money from my parent.
Now,I only realize I waste too much money before,
but now, regret also no use.
I keep think how much I will spent before I go back,
really feel headache on this problem,
I do not know where can I get money.
I am not think to use my PTPTN,
since there only left a bit money,
I think to keep it for use on the time I start working.
Haih..

Many problem come together,
assignment + presentation + money,
my head really gonna boom,
who can lend me a hand?

by shin,
11/4/2011 12.54pm