disappointed

Since last night I receive a call from my mom,
my mood already had been destroy.
Well, the same problem occur, she crying again.
OK, what the problem for this time?
SAME answer >> stress.
And today morning, I receive her message again.
The same thing she find me,
normally I will try to help her,
but today, I really very angry.

I do not know what can I do already,
all can I do I had already done for her,
but then, what that I get?
Still the same, never change, never improve.
Every time waiting helping from others,
every time only know to run away when face problem,
every time also blame this, blame that,
never feel she is the fault one.
Every time call back home,
sure telling about she is suffer,
feel stress on her assignment and exam.

For YOU!
I really do not know how can I help u already!
Every time u face problem and find me,
I also try my best to help u,
even I do not have any knowledge about your course.
But you never change your attitude,
I so disappointed on that.
Start from the day you go study, until today,
already4 months++, you still the same.

You not only feel stress to face your problem,
you also bring whole family into your situation,
make us feel stress together with you.
How we done for you also not use,
you never satisfied and appreciate our effort.
Did you think all we done for you is our responsible?
We give the best for you, but what your respond?

We already grew up, you know?
Now we need to responsible to our own life,
not like child, everything daddy & mommy will do for you.
We need to try make decision by own self,
also need to plan for our future,
and try to solve the problem by our own self.
Yes, I admit you can consult with us when you really can't solve the problem,
but what we can do only giving you opinion and the method,
you still need to complete it by yourself.
We can help you in the first time, the second time,
but we can't help you in your whole life.
I really think that study not a hard thing,
just you want to study or not,
unless you are an idiot.

I am speechless already,
I nothing can say because what i say you also won't understand.
I do not know what you want to do after,
and I also do not know what I want to do for you after this.
Last word, please be mature!
Please think the way you want & responsible on your decision.
If you don't want help yourself,
in this world, nobody can help you already.

by shin
24/11/2010 3.28pm

just finish first paper in this morning

Long time did not update my blog.
And today, some feeling bring me come to here.
Well, start my final exam today,
my first paper >> Investment Analysis,
no eyes to see...haihz~~
I have study hard and try to understand it,
but when I sit in the exam hall,
my eyes looking at the question paper,
I only realize that actually I'm not GENIUS!
Study in last minute not helpful in my exam.
But what can I do???
I just can using my little knowledge,
"make stories" in the exam hall...
And I had lost 21 marks in overall,
because I left 2 question in blank,
I totally do not know how to answer that 2 question...

And the next, Trade & Finance + Marketing Service,
but I haven start study yet.
I really feel lazy to study,
my mind is thinking about shopping.
Yeah! My mind all is SHOPPING!
I want buy cloths! I want watch movie!
I want walk around everywhere with relax feeling,
& without annoying by BOOK!
I believe it all not far from me,
10 more days, I can back to my home again.
Even at that time I still have 2 paper on going,
but I think I have lost all the study mood.

And now, I am killing by book.
I only finish one paper,
still have 5 more waiting for me.
Better find back the study mood,
keep fighting for my exam,
then go shopping...

by shin,
23/11/2010 3.24pm

闷闷的心情

今天的心情闷闷地~不懂为什么，可是心情就是很down。前两天他告诉我，有一个朋友要搭我的车回学校，他说那个朋友买不到20多号的巴士票。唉~当下听了就很不开心，因为有有人来占便宜了。然后，他就一直安抚我，说那个朋友不是特地站我们便宜啦等等。其实我不是很想载其他人咯，总觉得载了一次，就会有第二次。可是他却一副很想载的样子，我不想搞到天怒人怨，只好答应咯。

本来我是没有去想，可是不懂为什么今天满脑子都在想这件事。我在想，真的有酱巧吗？我还没有拿车去学校时，每个人都能买到票。可是，在我拿车去学校后，就会有人买不到票，要搭我的车。我心里真的很怀疑，真的有那么巧吗？可是，没有人可以给我答案。

我不喜欢被人占便宜的感觉，真的很讨厌！我不想做坏人，不想讨厌任何人。可是，偏偏他们就是要来惹我，要来占我的便宜，搞到我真的对他们很反感。我很想拒绝所有人，可是又怕被别人讲我骄傲，自以为有车就了不起。到底有谁可以来教教我该怎么做？arghhhhhh~

by shin
11/11/2010 4.22pm