原来，我不想长大,,,

这几天，心情糟透了，

我根本没办法打从心里开心过，

可是，我还是得收拾心情，

因为我不想因为我的情绪而影响别人。

每天，我都告诉自己，

要记得微笑，

要记得开心。

可是，这样子做，

好像更加难受，

脑海里一直反反复复想着同样的事情，

我根本没办法洒脱。

很想逃离这一切，

可是我没办法豁免。

突然很怀念小时候的日子，

可以毫无顾忌的大哭大笑，

可以不顾形象的打闹，

可以不用害怕伤害任何人，

自己想怎样，就怎样。

小时候，

总是渴望长大，

可以不受束缚，

自由自在做自己喜欢的东西。

现在长大了，

却想当个小孩，

不用去面对烦恼，

不用去承担后果。

可是，时间并没有允许我这样做，

我还是得长大。

有时候，

微笑就想创可贴，

就算掩住了伤口，

心依然疼痛。

很想告诉你们，

我并不是想要伤害你们，

我承认我的语气重了点，

我知道我是有错。

我并不是不想说对不起，

只是我真的不懂怎样开口。

我并不是一个擅长表达感情的人，

可是这一点并没有人懂。

我知道我不是个好孩子，

可是我很努力的当个好孩子，

很努力去完成你们希望我做的每一件事。

只是这一次，

我想跟着我的想法，

就这一次而已。

对不起！

by shin,

18/7/2011 9.58pm

The day after graduate and the day before working

Have a long time did not come blogging...

Well, I am officially graduate from UUM,

now just only wait for the convocation.

Take a rest about 1 month,
then I started to find job.

Really need started to earn money,

I really not dare to ask money from my parent,

even I know they will give me if I request.

But, I am officially an adult already,

I am able to earn money for myself,

so better prepare my mood for working start from now.

 But everything are not happen as how was I think..

I had already applied many kind of job,

even have some company had calling me for an interview,

but all are not my desire job.

I hope to get a job from bank,

I know my english is poor, 

my speaking also very bad,

but I had try my best in the interview.

I still failed to get an offer from bank.

"Citibank", I will always remember,

giving me  a big hope,

but told me I was unsuccessful in finally.

But the god are take care of me too,

luckily I had found another job between this few days.

Although not a bank job,

although I am fresh on this sector,

but I will try my best and do my best.

I will start to working on next monday,

a bit excited and a bit nervous.

I hope everything can go smoothly,

even there are many challenge waiting me in the future,

but I will do my best and fighting it.

by shin,

8/7/2011 4.13pm